Friday, March 18, 2011

S.L.-U.T. Park city mountain

Town lift chairlift
Run- quit'n time
Utah, park city, where Hilton wanted to be
The view is amazing
Pouring your sons ashes through your finger, over the palm of your warm hand, as they slowly fall into the wet snow, like the sands of time, your realize you can not control time,
You can not turn it back your not stopping it, you can not move it forward.
as the sun pours over your face, tears accent the cold of your cold cheek.
On a single line on your face
All this at
at the top of a mountain
And no matter who is with you, your alone...
Watching your daughters face look crushed and in pain.. Real deep blood boiling pain....
Sobbing out loud uncontrollable..... Screaming gut wrenching pain.... Fuck..... Fuck........fuck.......
Go hug your fucking kids right now because the are a gift that can be taken away from you....

Building a snowman for him using his ashes to make the eyes, and nose and smile. Hoping he would turn and talk to me like the movie jack frost....
I ask hilton while riding this week to be my families guardian angle... Ask him to look over the girls, and take all request... Wishes...
( Funny I think he really answered one wish already)
Hilton is a real loyal man, he would have gone to the ends of the earth... Pissed off but he would never question me, defend me no matter what.... And I would defend him..
Now he is gonna help me get through this ands be better and stronger..
He gonna work hard with me
The pain of dropping his ashes off has not gotten easier... I told the hilton snow man I loved him and I'm sorry... So fucking sorry my chest hurts, the pain is like someone stabbing me... Over and over again and I can get them to stop.

Ground hog day...
Fuck you..... FUCKYOU...
Fuck y o u fuck you... God dammit...fuck you...
By the way
SLUT....stand for
Salt Lack city- Utah.
Hilton I love you
You picked a great spot to hang out
I will come back to visit
Its not a great. Blog, its just an simple entry...

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