Sunday, October 31, 2010

Much love Hiltie, I'll miss you Bro.

Well friends...

When I first learned of Hilton's accident my feelings were spread all over the place and I tried to write something for so long and I think that hope that I'd just be able to slap Hiltie on the back, call him a damned fool and then hug my friend again kept me from sending my thoughts.

As someone who knew Hilton, despite not being in frequent contact over the last few years I knew how passionate an individual Hilton could be about anything that struck his fancy, I was torn between hope and wonder for his future in longboarding. I knew how passionate he was when he first started to learn to play guitar and I remembered fondly the first time he and I sat down in his room and he showed me the giant book of guitar songs Tim had bought for him as he asked me to show him a few chords on the ONE song I had any idea how to play in the book. That may have been because Tim had promised him a Les Paul (I believe) if he could learn every single note in the book, but I think there was more to it. He was so eager to learn to shred because he was just fascinated by the instrument and he asked me to point him in the direction of the "best guitarists I knew of" so that he could increase his passion and dedication to the craft. I'm sure he was no different with Longboarding. I know he loved to shred the strings and I know he tore up the streets with the best of you.

As a life long friend of the family I felt incredible sadness for Tim, Kel, Penny, Kat, Georgi & Natalie because I knew that regardless of the outcome it was going to be a long and troublesome road ahead. I have so many vivid memories with Hiltie and his family. Camping up North in Arrowhead Park (I still return there whenever I can)... One of the first Toronto Raptors games and having the guys sitting near us who won the fan package give both Hilton and I a trinket by which to remember our first experience with the NBA... being in the Aurora Santa Claus Parade together... barbecues at the Byrne Residence... I love you all and my heart and thoughts are with you in this troubling and confusing time.

As someone who shared some of my best childhood and mid-teen memories with Hilton I'm just overwhelmed by the positivity and support the family and friends of Hilton have received from the Longboarding community and from all over the place. It warms me to know that despite all the terrible things that can happen on both large and small scale all over the world the extent of human compassion can be stronger than ever. I skateboard, and while the extent of my boarding is limited to it being a rad and exciting means of transportation I can't help but wish maybe I had've taken a stab at Longboarding to spend some last moments with my buddy doing what he loved most.

The last time I saw Hilton he had just returned from out West and had plenty of exciting stories to share with me, and I'm glad I was able to just listen to him talk, because at least I have a solid and memorable last experience with him.

Much love Hiltie, I'll miss you Bro.



On a more personal note Tim, aside from what I prepared for the blog...
You are a strong, passionate and amazing person.
If there is anything I can do to help champion The "Two Fingers" safety initiative on a micro or macro level you just let me know. I'm ready and eager to do anything I can.
You've got my support, and my thoughts friend.


Donna and richard....

Dear Tim,

Our hearts are breaking for you and yours as you face the unimaginable. We will do anything we can for you guys. I know you have an amazing support group but if there is anything.......

We found some videos on the internet today by Hilton and have been watching them over and over. In particular the one called Bloor Street Bomb..........unbelieveably cool......I don't know how to post on the blog..... but I am sure others out there would marvel at it too.

We have been following your family's journey very closely over the past 3 weeks and there is no surprise that Hilton was so proud to be a Byrne.

With much love,

Donna, Richard, Molly and Noah

Scooter dude. Lead up to the long board

Butterflies are cool.JPG

Hilton Katherine Georga Maxx Abigail.JPG

Hilton Georga brother and sister

Naked Hilton.JPG

Hilton and Maxx.JPG

Zoom zoom.JPG

Dad and Son love... Thanks Drea

From catherine , one tough lady...

Catherine & Emily Sine
Our hearts are with you

After 2 years at Stadia I saw Hilton grow into a solid young man

The first year..well, he and I butt heads.and often.

I was stubborn he was more so. I told him if he was following in his dads shoes..while he had big shoes to fill. He had 25 years of wisdom yet to experience. The second year he found his "groove" he grew 8" and grew into is skin. And seemed happier. He had a strong business sense and understood we where a Stadia team. Trying to achieve the same goals. He was a good guy.

I won't forget that Just the Thursday prior to Thanksgiving I ran out of gas in my new Stadia car on the ramp off the highway and in the pouring rain.

It was almost rush hour. I called the office and Tim answered my call for help. After calling me a" looser" with love and affection and laughing he said help was on its way. I was really really scared. Cars where coming up behind me, blaring their horns, quickly switching lanes even though my flashers where on. I was so scared I was going to be hit from behind I abandoned the car and stood on the ramp in the pouring rain. My phone rang... It was Hilton. He said he was on his way.. I think he could since I was upset.. He said don't worry I will be there in 4 minutes I see you ahead.

He jumped out of his Jeep, put his flashers on and just calmly put gas in my car. There where cars zooming pass him just inches from his butt. He stood very calming filling my car. I stood on the sidelines like a drowned Cat. He ran over and got me and we dodged the cars and he got me back in my car. I said Hilton " Thank you sooooo much". He did the Hilton trade mark shrug of the shoulders and said yep!!!
He said my dad blasted over the PA system you ran out of gas!!! LOL
He laughed... He said but don't' feel bad, my dad runs out a gas a few times a month.

Next day when I saw him at the office I told him how grateful I was of his rescue and that I owed him BIG TIME.

He said "I KNOW"...
Thank you HILTI

For you,

GOD looked around his garden and he found an empty place

He then looked down upon this earth and saw Hiltons tired face

He put his arms around him and lifted him to rest

God's Garden must be beautiful, he only takes the best

He knew that Hilton was suffering, he knew he was in pain

He knew that he would never be happy with his life on earth again

He saw that the road was getting rough and the hills were hard to climb

So he closed his weary eyes and whispered

It broke our hearts to lose you Hilton but you didn't go alone.

For parts of all of us went with you...the day God called you home

It is something we just can not grasp to loose you... As we see life in black and white. But I believe Hilton legacy will carry on with a ripple effect in so many ways.

He was put on this earth to teach us many many things . In just the past 20 days I have seen life and love and friends through different eyes .

Tim and family you are all so are inspirational.
Tim, Kellie, Kat and Georga, I know that you know the path. Hilton has shown you the way....You felt as though you where carrying him and now he will carry you!

Catherine and Emily Sine
Catherine Sine, Sales

From moms book of stories

For the blog:
I am sitting here responding to at least a 100 emails. All in regards to Hilton and his wonderful life.

I have read each and every word written about him on the blog, the Ontario Long boarders site and several others I found.
Hilton was a brilliant kid who could figure out any thing technical. He used to find it stupidly funny to take my phone or now blackberry and change the setting. All of them the screen saver, the time and best of all he would switch the language into either Spanish or Chinese. I would then have to go find anyone who spoke that language to switch it back. He would laugh until he cried as I screamed and laughed out loud "how do I answer the phone". Hilton would always say "Mom your such a nerd. Give me the BB. I can that thing sing"

I love you Hilton for the smart, funny, extraordinary man you became.

From the Shaw of barrie

I too have no idea how to post on a blog.

To all of you, I have no words that can express how sorry we are to have lost hilton.

My favorite memory of Hilton is actually of him, retelling his favorite memory, of Kellies arrival in BC to visit him when he was going to school there, and her opening up her suitcase only to reveal the 'awesome' smell of fresh baked goods, most especially the peanut butter cookies.

I can tell you that he told me this story more than once, and the look of rapture that would come over his face, like he could taste those cookies everytime he told it, made the story all the more enjoyable to hear.

I will miss him flying in the parking lot at work and parking really close to my car, because he knew it drove me crazy, and most of all, how he excited he would get if included in the morning coffee run! 'Sweet!' and 'Your the best Jenn!'

I have always envied his having found his passion in his longboarding - how many of us can say we found our passion and followed it.and

Love and hugs to each one of you,

Jennifer Shaw

Keep the comments coming tell a hilton story.. I don't care, what it is...

Kat and georg kellie and penny love them.... Tell stories please......

Our First Longboarding Tragedy - Posted by nate on another blog

We always knew something like this might happen. The Ontario longboarding community is mourning its first death. It is a vicious, devastating tragedy, and we are all in profound shock. Rest in peace, Hilton. You fool, you character, you beautiful kid. Now I'll never get those Bennetts off of you.

Original graphic by Luis Bustamante

Longboarding is a sport where measured risks are often taken. We play in traffic -- at high speeds. What did we expect? When you get enough participants engaged in an activity like this over a period of time, eventually an accident is going to occur. Yet until it did, I don't think any of us truly envisioned it.

Have we been naive? When joyful innocence is broken, it strikes you down to the core. It is a bitter, bitter loss that we must now endure.

We had an ominous foreshadowing earlier this summer. A young woman was killed in Vancouver when she failed to negotiate a turn on a steep hill. Most of us didn't know her. We observed the event from afar, sent our regards, and went on skating.

Sure, we've had serious incidents and close calls before. Spills, tumbles, breaks, sprains, collisions, cheesegratered sides; a litany of mishaps is endemic to the sport. One of the best skaters I know broke his femur a couple years back. The defiant team logo for a hardcore group of skaters among us even sports a grinning skull, gangster style. But it's meant to be brash, attitudinal. Not representative.

Everybody always made it through, got better, lived to skate another glorious day in the sun. That's not the case this time.

Oh Hilton!

The young gentleman who passed away this afternoon was a highly active and visible member of the skate community. I wasn't a close personal friend, but everybody knew him; he was part of the landscape. We have an online forum in which he was a top ten poster and the #3 topic starter, out of hundreds and hundreds of members. And of course he skated with all of us at some point or another. He was unfailingly helpful, and kind, and decent, and all the qualities you like to see in a young man about to enter the prime of his life.

A few days ago -- an eternity ago -- I paid a visit to the ICU ward at St. Michael's (which coincidentally is opposite one of the most enjoyable night garages in downtown Toronto). Hospital waiting lounges are criminally dour and oppressive places. But the room was lit up by his family, which was full of hope and caring and desperate strength. I marvelled at their tenacity, and took solace in the depth of their love. I felt like a voyeur to their exhaustion. They were on a private journey of attrition and I had intruded on their camp.

You can't say this was preventable. Serious longboarders pay attention to safety and skating safe. Helmets and other equipment are de rigeur, particularly for dedicated skate sessions. It just happened. It just happened, and it's brutal, and we will never be the same, and yet we won't ever change. Our capering has not ended. There's a session tonight at which tears will flow freely. The thrill is overpowering, the feeling of freedom is incandescent. In our bitter grief we will only skate harder for you, Hilton, and damn the consequences. Losing you is piercing and astonishing.

Rest in peace. My condolences to that proud, loving family and to everyone that Hilton touched.

A pic from wells from Ali

Corny swim


Killington Trip 2009


Killington Trip 2009


Oct 31 from kathy ludgate

Tim, Kellie, Penny, Kat, Georga, Alex, Katie and all:

It is Sunday October 31st, 2010, it is snowing in Aurora! Wonder who is behind that!

My life is better for having had the privledge of knowing and experiencing Hilton, and even more so for witnessing the strength, love and kindness of a family, who under the most excrutiating of circumstances, have pulled together and demonstrated what it truly means to honour a life!
May all of you be blessed beyond measure in the times to come, may you continue to have strength, love, joy and peace as you grieve and move forward. He will be greatly missed, but will definately live on in our hearts!

God Bless all of you!
Kathy Ludgate

Love janice wynne....

Tim, Kelly, Penny, and all the girls

I am so sorry for your loss of Hilton, he was a great young man whose time was brief but lived it without fear, with joy, and everything that youth brings, his impact on everyone was huge, including me. I will miss him.

Much love,

To All Parents
by Edgar Guest

"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love the while he lives and mourn when he is dead,
"It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
"But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

"He'll bring his charms to gladden you, but should his stay be brief,
"You'll have his lovely memories, as solace for your grief,
"I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
"But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

"I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true,
"And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
"Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
"Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
"For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness; we'll love him while we may,
And for happiness we've known forever grateful stay.

"But should the angels call for him much sooner than we'd planned,
"We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."

Well street and aurora grove.....

> Hi Tim,
> I'm not sure if you will remember me, but I went to both Wells Street Public School and Aurora Grove with Hilton. Although I hadn't spoken to Hilton in several years, he had a great impact on my life throughout the years I knew him. I remember every year that he was in my classes and also when I sat next to him in art class every day. We talked about what our next assignment was, who was being a shit disturber in the class and how we would get them to shut up. He was kind to everyone around him, but when someone wasn't kind to him he told them off (I respect him for being able to do that). I've been checking your blog several times a day since I first heard of his accident and I've been thinking of you and your family every day. I remember playing basketball early in the morning with you, Hilton and other children from Wells Street, and I remember you telling me not to give up on basketball once I left the school. I didn't know what Hilton was doing the following years after I had seen him last, but I'm glad that he was doing something that he loved. I want you to know that I will be thinking of you and your family every day for the next days, weeks and months to come. I also want you to know how I saw in Hilton through my years of knowing him. I saw a young man who was kind and caring. One who would say what he felt and one who knew what he liked. I can't possibly imagine what you are going through right now, but I hope that you and the rest of your family will find some sort of comfort sometime soon.
> Ali Amborski

2 fingers remembered

From Chris Mahon

Tim here is something I wrote tonight. Its been a very sad day.

Stay strong through these difficult times. I feel very lost for words.

Love, thoughts, and prayers.
Hilton Byrne

Hilton you were an awesome dude and will never be forgotten. Today was a day where I did a lot of crying, thinking, and remembering moments of the past. Playing through my head were moments with my friend Hilton.

Hilton was a huge part of my entrance into the longboarding community. Receiving my first board in Christmas of 2007, the search began for people nearby to teach me this new and awesome sport. And when you aren't in the city, if you don't have a car commuting can take hours! And so began a brand new relationship, with a small bunch of skaters from the cities above Toronto; among the smiles was Hilton Byrne.

Hilton brought so many fond memories to the group! He loved new gear and always had something new to show off! Jefferson Forrest was the area we all learned to ride, it had a little bit of everything. Dashing lefts to rights at the pins; steep and tight at duck drop; and long and windy around the street. Hilton would ride everything and never even shy away while injured. He once came back from B.C. with a huge smile on his face, conquering the epic Giants Head and wearing a set of wheels to the plastic core. Sessions always finished with a circle and game of hacky sack; raving how awesome our time together was and realizing that our ass' were sore.

The yellow SMART car is such an indulgent recollection. It was impossible to miss, and you knew it had to be Hilton! No one would believe how many things you can fit in one of these tiny cars! Skateboards to the roof, soda bottles and water bottles roaming the floors, and safety gear a mess. I've been in that car while comfortably on the seat, and Albert wedged in the middle; a wet and rainy day, but that didn't stop Hilton.

Hilton was such a strong and independent person, never scared to say what was on his mind. He was the man to call if you wanted to skate, but it was very last minute. We tried to learn to ride regular skateboards... looking like goofs being dressed for battle at the skate park. He stood out from the crowd and that is the reason everyone knew him and loved him.

It isn't fair that such a fantastic person has left us. Hilton you are awesome, and I can't wait to shred with you. You will never leave my heart, my thoughts, or my prayers. You are gone and "I'm just not a fan".

Waiting.... GOD I wish I was

For 20 days I have waited for my hilti to get up...

Tonight is the same,

Yet hilti is not getting up, he not come home....

I'm still at the condo, with all the girls and a Dan...just like any other night running and managing camp hilton...

I wake to look at my blackberry to see if I missed a call....

I have not......

I get up to go pee, and look down the stairs in to the living room and there are all the kids,
but Kat. .... She is a wake.. She turns her head quick ishe is startled , but not)And waves at me.... Blows me a kiss... No words are spoken , she shakes her hand real fast as a wave of love like a little kid would wave at santa,

I love KAT,

So tonight I realize I did not tell you

That if you didn't know already

Hilton is my little buddy,
And I forgot to say good night
God bless
Don't let the bed bugs bite....

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Its is too.....


With Pooh at Disney with his sister kat

Gary Stephenson Poem... To Hilton

I'm such a nerd,don't know how to post to site, so I'm sending to you to do.
As request I'm posting this for gary,
To hilton love gary...
As summer fades away
and August becomes September,
it's the color of the leaves
we always will remember.

As day turns to night
and evening dwindles light,
it's the beauty of the sunset
that remains to tickle our sight.

Our tears will turn to smiles
though we let our Hilton go,
his memory we will cherish
forever and always we know.

We will miss him.
Love Gary


Crazy uncle scott

Loving hilton for ever

Hilton and kat holding georg there new little sister 9 years ago

Dad and hilton age 5 or 6....

From yesterday

Hi Tim:

Sending my 2 Finger support for Hilton, along with all my thoughts and prayers. Everyone out here in Kelowna is still asking how Hilton is doing and I make sure to tell them to keep checking the blog, and sending there thoughts and prayers too.

Keep up the fight,

Send message please please share / post comments on the web site

Post as many comments as you can,
Mom (s)
Gandma (s)
Grand dads
Uncle on his mothers side...
All want to here from ever one, comments notes.. They want to know everthing about hilton,

Please please share

Julie had a t-shirt made... Cool

shake for hilton

Hilton loved a good chocolate shake from the pickle barrel...... Actually from any where.... But we went to the pickle barrel...

So we went for one...

I love you buddy

Kats first tat and mine.......

Hilton Byrne born MAY 10 1990

He was my buddy....

Cool kid


Left over photos....
I love you hilton

Update date

This time on day 11
I think that we need to stop and reflect on this journey hilton is taking us on.

Everyone who has read this blog, who has been effected...

Each one of use has dealt with this tragedy in a different way all emotions on the table... We have measured our own mortality, sized up our friends, realised some people are hypocrites....
other...... un expected, rise to the occasion and grip your soul and hold you.... And give you strength...

I watch to moms, love there son in two great ways.. Each mom having insecurities, yet standing together for one young boy.

Hilton is a strong boy, tough, rough, always a little pissed off, he loves to cook, and snow board... He loves his head to be rubbed,
He loves working with me...
if he could get free time , alone time with me he would take it...he loves tradition... More then anything... Christmas tree cutting, pumpkin hunting, ski and snow board show, winter snow baord trip... Dinner out with me alone,...
He loves socialising in large groups..
Showing off his vocabulary
And his ability to communicate, he has great manners...

I tell everyone this because I want you all to anticipate his return....... And what awaits you.....

Because we are not done, He and I will fight,
I will give him all my strength, alove that we receive via all the comments...

we will move beyond this, we will survive... Because that's what he and I do...

He is my buddy!

He is my son !!!

I'm stubborn , my god he is... So I can wait... and I am not going anywhere...

From the book of Pooh to piglet

Pooh said to piglet:

If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you.

Told to piglet , by winnie the pooh....

Julie stephenson has been go ogling winnie the pooh to find great wisdom...for hiltons favourite childhood cartoon

Dear hilton

( Written around. Day 16)

I want you to know as we travel this journey together how much I love you and support what you are doing.

God will take care of us and give us the power of positive energy.

The "you" we love and remember will never be forgotten.

You loved snow boarding

You loved long boarding

You loved guitar

You loved Cooking with me

You loved your stupid jeep

You loved having your head rubbed

You loved going to the markham fair

You loved working at stadia.

He loved the song phoenix

He loved BC,

He loved being with me alone...

He loved sitting in bed with kat and me just talking... Shooting the shit...

He loved all music...

He had a great ego... He loved him self

He loved smoking a good joint

He loved kat, AL, katie and georg

he loved having my back

He loved being pissed off

He love warm days and deep snow

He loved outdoor bbq's at mt st. Louis sunny warm...

He Love doing a whole day of food prep just the day prior to thanksgiving


Good bless sweet dreams
Fuck me ......

Slow, painful emotional... Waiting game.

I got nothing accept prayers for hilton

F@#!ed Up day.. Day 18

I have been strong, I have prayed, I have asked for help, I have held hands, i have strong kids,
my wife kellie is the best, she is dynamic, kind, warm, strong, even at my worst... She is strong...

I have never been so fucked up in my life,
the pain runs so deep, it feels like I'm being ripped apart and no one can stop it....

Hilton lays there not moving, as I watch helpless,
I can barely catch my breath....
My vision is blurred for tears just won't stop,

I wrench my torso, so I can get control of my emotion, at any moment I want to collapse and wake from this dream, from this nightmare...

I'm not a religious man and I'm guilty of turning to God only when I need him,
Well..... I need him now

Do you know the prayer... the one set of footsteps in the sand and you complain that god screwed off on you.... And you stop and realize that.... He.....he is carrying you...

Shit I must be a huge dead weight...
Next to hiltons bed is a man , and he has been here the same amount of time... And he is moving and his LOC is good, I'm so happy for them...
When will it be hiltons turn... Is that selfish... Is that wrong... I'm envious....god that sound so terrible....
My world is spinning...
I'm not perfect, I have done sinful things in my life, but hilton does not deserve to pay for any of my sins...
Mother fucker cock sucker fuck fuck fuck

Please god:
keep away all bad/negative people and thoughts
and only allow good people and thoughts...positive people .....only positive thoughts only....

What ever happens it will be the right thing

Good night sweet boy

His fever was gone when I left and they for the first time in a week put a blanket on him....

I could not tell you how my heart pounded, when I saw his temp low and a blanky on him....snug as a bug...

God bless buddy. Sweet dreams..

Don't let the bed bugs bite...

( I treasure the small thing, and I suggest every person out there with a child give him or her an extra hug...

Three cheers.

Sending some stuff for you to read

I'm gonna send some stuff that was written but never posted... Pic that were taken.. And never posted

I can't tell you when it was written... Or why or who sent the photos...

This blog has been a diary. For my family and the final message will come monday and tell you how we will celebrate hiltons life...

Sorry about the next few postings.... Tim

Hiltons horoscope today

TAURUS Oct, 30, 2010
It's easy to be suspicious of a person you don't know. That's because as humans we prefer the familiar. The familiar is comfortable. We know what to expect. We know there is relative safety. And we can be ourselves. But with a stranger who is entering your world, you will need to take a leap of faith and offer your trust unless and until you have reason not to trust that person. Recent events may have left you feeling a bit less secure and sure of yourself, which may be the reason you are questioning someone's motives. Give that person a chance.


Oct 30 th today not yesterday, he passed away at 2:45 at st.mikes...

Saturday october 29th 2010 2;45pm

Hilton alexander byrne passed away inside st. Mike hospital. With his mom and grandma near by. Dad and kellie sister all close by...

Catherins church group

Friday, October 29, 2010

ACM LAST DAY! 024.jpg

This is a 2 fingers up for Hilton from all of us at ACM! My son Keven is Keliie's cousin Bruce son and i have been following your blog and ask some of the girls from work to give 2 fingers up for Hilton!! Stay strong and sending prayers your way!!

Nathalie and the whole claims Department at ACM!!


Everyone breathe,

The family just wants to be low key, I'm tired...

We are strong and united.

God bless you all

I promise the story is not over...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Little man

Hi Tim.... I'm a friend of Penny's (my kids love her!) and we have been following her updates since the beginning.
Here's me with my little man and our fingers up for Hilton. Fingers and toes crossed for your miracle.


Sweet treat

He is a pumpkin

Thanks tracy

Very tired

My boy rocks

Eugene & Jeff - 2 Thumbs for Hilton.jpg

50,000 hits to hilton...

my mothers finger must be sore by now....

Lov ya mom...

Hilton I'm joking... Eh
Buddy its show time

Sorry I have not blogged, hey guess what John is back... We think a lot of john

He rocks...

Hilton still has a fever but he is stable

Mean while back home waiting...

Three dogs are wonder where hilton is...

Day 18

Well its a new day, and we are in a fighting mood,

Today is a day about knowledge and knowledge is power,

Hilton I'm on a mission... So let's see what I can dig up..

Anybody with any insiders on the subject of D.A.I. , nurse, doctor, therapist... I'm don't To wait any longer.......

Send me a private confidential email


So many opinions

I have never been met with so many opinions in my life,
I am delighted to her them all, yet no one will be definitive with me.

I have never been overwhelmed, til now.

I thought I was in charge before , but now the true meaning of responsibility is facing me.

Nothing I have ever done before would prepare me for this moment...

Fear of failure is facing me, a true life time decision

my god, I wish I could put into words what is going through my head.

My breathing is lite, shallow as I lay in bed listening to the old city hall bells ring,

Hilton , hiliti, buddy, little buddy please give me a sign to guide me on your journey.

I love you so much. Hilton

God give me the strength to over come my challenges and move forward.

Einstein ( so my sister says) said life is like a bicycle you must keep moving forward to stay balanced.

Something like that....

Fuck me this is bullshit

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Drake , kat and I

Are taking a break tonight

Hilton is with a great nurse name michelle we had her last night

He is stable,

Amd I'm so fucking tired I can't type...

Don't panic

I have tons to tell you... I just need to close my eyes.

So hilti....
Sweet dream god bless buddy and
Don't let the bed bugs.... You guys know the last word.............

Mike / Cord / kathy

Son of a bitch I can't send these photo the right way...

2 fingers for the kid...

Eugene and leeann lake...

I am so grateful for your efforts, and prayers

Dinner / raps were GREAT
So much effort !!!!!!!!!

Egg, tuna, chicken, ham, goat cheese, every thing was so wonderful...

For you folks that don't know eugene, is a special person and his courage, grace and strength are so HUGE... We could all take a lesson from him and his family....

Its his story to tell, but if you can offer a prayer.... Please.......god bless and thanks....


In with hilton

And we wait,

He is sedated again

His haemoglobin is stable

His white blood cell count is high at 15.9

he had NO LOC overnight or this morning

But the nurse told me that he had two huge mucus plugs come up... Luggies. Yum..
the had to get them out and they said this was a traumatic experience so we are not to touch him for a few hours to let him rest....
His vital signs are smoking , he is calm.....

So am I..... Actually I'm tired...

I like being here with out anybody around...its nice

Our nurse today is temp, with 15 years experience... Gave me the " this is the way I work " speach..... Little does she know...

Meet with doctor today..

Hiltons Horoscopes for today.

TAURUS born MAY 10
You may feel a bit run down today but that is to be expected seeing as how hard you have been pushing yourself in recent weeks. Maybe it would be wise to cut back on your commitments a bit. Take a vacation – you deserve it.

That's an understatement

Yo YO. From barrie with two fingers

Sleepless catch up notes... Not ketchup notes a mixed bag of dog shit on DAY:17

Its not easy to watch your own dreams when they are nightmares,
I love that penny , kellie and I are all on the same page, sometimes blended family are fuck up really bad ours is only crazy, not fuck up... Any one in a blended family knows what I mean...
Tonight is a weird night in the condo, cause julie and I are alone and I personally feel alone..... Really scared, I funny thing is I need to feel this way right now.
I have written so much in this blog and deleted, I have at leasts 10 drafts started but never finished...
An I have screamed so loud into my blackberry,.... But have never let you see it.
I hope that you give this site to some one, some one who has suffered , or some one who is just starting this journey, to show them they are not alone,

Cause even with all the great people pounding on my sons door, we feel SO incredibly alone so fuck up heart pounding , 5 year old in the dark with my wild imagination alone...
Its early in the morning, julie and long time 15 year friend of hilton sleeping in the other room, and I am to scared to move... Breathe..... Breathe, breathe, breathe..
Hiltons top five name he would call you to your face if he loved you....
( True byrne terms of endearment)
Retard, asshat, boobala,

You guys give me the other two...
And I won't be offended, anyone reading this.... Just to let you know what happens in the blog stays in the blog....and if your offend in anyway what so ever....... STOP FUCKING READING THE BLOG.... Wow is that simple... Heheheheheh
Ps: stan your wife is awesome, I did not forget you also came by last night I just couldn't work you in to the storey.... Cause it was come off my thumbs so fast, and I look at it after I posted... SORRY
Good morning hilton , waky waky...
( I'm gonna take a nap now


Hey chris

I love your spirit,( fo all you bloggers. Romeo here sent me an email that I will compay and paste un less he says its ok...

Romeo, when your ready please come by my office,

You and hilton brother, the two of you.... Would be smoke'n together in business...

Love the drive , take it on.

Living in the present

I felt numb today, tired and numb , spent an hour in the office and balled with stan, spoke to my daughter via text only to be in the same room with her.
What has life become????

Got some food from super centre, bread milk, fruit 30 + apples, gala, sparten grannies.. 3 of everything for th staff at the ICU to eat... Cause they eat shit most days...

As the afternoon tracked on hilton fever went up and down... His sinus are raw and sore, ... His LOC is shit... It's a been almost 6 days without any real consistent command movement... I'm depressed, and I feel like I'm caring hilton.... And keeping the family facing the right way while wait..
I hate pitty parties... I'm not sure if anyone can tell???

( John and Ann.... Thanks for the fruit and veggies... Thank god for fresh FOOD
Came out of the ICU, after a conversation with dr. simone and he ask " not to be in the blog" or can I speak to you off the blog... and as part of our trust with each other I will not discuss this conversation with you don't ask me... I will not tell you....

Dr. Simone, I respect you and hilt and I thank you for everything...
Honesty, kindness and skill...

Entering the waiting room
To a full house, the stadia ladies... kathy ,kathy catherine, tracey, janice ... All came for hugs. And yes super BOB and andrea... God bless you all for all the support... And food....

Its Around 5:30ish... I just signed off on a camera and sample to be removed from my sons sinus... Some cultures to be done .... Its real surgery and its gonna take 20 minutes....
as I can feel my energy disappear .....6:40pm. Hilti just finished and they said for us to come at 8pm to visit...
Robin, katie, julie, kellie, kat, Alex, georga and Dan.... Went back to the condo to have some dinner.... Frozen pizza and salad...cold milk, After a long day in the ICU. Dinner break 7pm to 8pm seem to come fast tonight...

We ate, I lay down for five minutes and look out into the city... Lost in my thoughts... and with a blink of my eye 8pm came quick

And we can sit and spend time with our hilti.... Let go go....go...move move move back to the ICU...

Kellie, georg and kat and alex have all headed home... For the night cause they are gonna GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW... An start to come down at night... Unless dad and mom(s) make some choices..

Alex , kat and georg promise to get lots of two finger photos for me tomorrow and thur... from there class mates...

So its julie and I... Alone for the 8 to 9 visit..
We get some coffee and tea at timmys and off we go.. To the ICU... We buzz in and the nurse asks for a few more minutes..

We go to the waiting room and who do we see... Melissa... From our office her voice is horse and I ask her if she is sick .... Eeeek stay away of your sick or feel sick... She say she is fine and she is horse because she reads my blog... And her emotions get the best of her... And to my surprise I turn my head and a regular to the waiting room comes through the door like a super hero... It is scotty... My step brother.. Sweet, love his smile....
A quick hug to scotty and
off julie and I go... we walk buy the apple basket sitting on the icu nurses station, I brought it in around 3:30pm....and the fucking baskets is empty .. These guys are little piggies.... O ink

And off around the right corner and on the left... You know which bed is hilti's cause of all the great art and the knot blankie an old friend made for him at birth..

His eyes open,its about 30 minutes out of surgery, out of full sedation...

I love when his eyes are open... And guess what...... a new nurse to question and beat up... Michelle... Sweet michelle... She is a part timer ... Nice lady... No resume required... Kick ass lady, engaged...
( Julie takes his hand and says hI)

I say "hilton to follow me with your eyes, buddy, blink, hey buddy............. and the standard ritual.. Goes shake up his LOC... Look for him to follow a command... Bla bla bla...

I yell, " hilton if he can hear me? If you can hear me blink".. He did... But if I was yelling at you like that in a language you couldn't understand... You would blink too, just from the noise....and my spit...

But michelle. Swears hilton is following my commands... Me not so much..

I told her she was fucked...
So I went to the other side of the bed and ask hilton to turn to me... And the little prick did it, fuck me Eh... He struggled but he turned... A little bit a tiny bit... Michelle ? I ask " was that real.. And she say YES sir I'm marking that down as a command and response... I said "I'm not so sure?"
she said, I've been doing this for 10 year,
hilton did what you asked. Yes... Sweet :)
I was happy... So happy
good in the ICU.. Is all about the present...
That moment..
michelle was so happy,
I told hilton to rest... And julie was so happy... This is the first time he has responded to a command since julie showed up 4 days ago...

So I take a deep breath and ask michelle if its ok to hang out past 9pm cause scotty hiltons uncle would like to come in... She say go ahead....we were all kinda happy and good moments need to be enjoyed..

As I leave to go out ,
Dr. Simone... ( Which I believe he never goes home) walked by and I said ... "He followed a command"... Simone say " come show me.."
So back we go...

Beside hilton... Simone watching , I ask him to blink, I ask him to move his head... Nothing.. Fuck nothing... Shit,,, come on buddy in my head, my bubble just burts....
Simone says... "Tim come, yell at him! make him.."

I get next to his right side: and in his face with his eyes open but not focused... I yell angry, strong , full blast HILTON LIFT UP YOUR HEAD, HILtON , DAMMIT, do IT NOW DO iT FOR YOUR DAD RIGHT NOW LIfT your HEAD...
My son the ass. Shaking like a leaf on a tree, on a windy day... Lifted his head off his pillow with conviction.... ( I think to my self...That motherfucking kid... Stubborn mother fucking kid...;)
And with a deep breath...
Quietly, I whispered in his ear....
Shhhhh good boy, good boy put your head down sshhH its ok. Good boy... And slowly his head goes down...

Simone says DO IT again...come now DO IT it yell at him....

So in his face, spit flying with his eyes open but not focused... I yell full blast HILTON LIFT UP YOUR HEAD,
LIfT your HEAD...
I yelled so loud, that I woke up the whole ICU...

that kid did it again that mother fucking kid
did it again....
tears down my face,
cause good in the ICU is about the moment...

Simone said... See , see, give your son a few more day. Give him more time.. SEE....
Fuck I'm exshusted I'm tired, I'm good, right now, and if hilton never moves again... I love that he moved this night this time... Hilton moving his head less then 4 " was wonderful... Just wonderful...

Good night buddy,
God bless

Don't let the bed bugs bite..

Ps: never give UP...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010



Two fingers from my friend Melissa Spence and her family. They're all following the blog and praying for hilty. Melissa knows Hilton through me and penny, kat and hilt used to live beside them along time ago on wenderly/dunning in aurora.

Hilton loves newyork state....

Tim, we are sending you and your family much love, many prayers, big bear hugs, loving support and huge positive vibes from your friends in Endicott, NY!

God bless all of you!

From BC.... Nice to see

Hey Tim,

I'm so sad that I had to come back to Vancouver... I'm thinking about you, Kat, George, Penny, Natalie, Kellie, Katie, Alex and Hilton every minute of the day. I can't do much more out here but send my love and support. I'm here for all of you! Stay strong, eat healthy and get some sleep (if you can).

Love always,

U of T

Saw this on campus and instantly thought of you and your family. Sending all of the good vibes that I can.
TAURUS / hilton 2 fingers horoscope:
Go your own way and do your own thing and ignore those who disapprove of your desire to be free of restrictions. Quite clearly they are jealous of your ability to come and go as you please. Let them see you don't care.


I'm back buddy...

I have anxiety attaches when I'm away...from st. Mikes...

Let me answer some questions

Hey, hilton... I know buddy ... You would tell everyone to figure it out themselves... But dad is running this until you wake up... So here is the over all Q&A.... Yes hilton,,, I know shut up buddy....
Q:What happened
A: hilton my son was long boarding at high speed and slid in to on coming traffic and made impact with a motorcycle going the opposite direction ( no one else was hospitalised)
Q) how is hilton:
A)he is stable condition in ICU- on life support.
Q) what injuries does he have:
A) spleen, liver, kidney and brain damage

Q) any complications:
A) fever, sinus infection, coma ( but coma is good for the brain bad for parents)
And enough infection that we can't figure out. / pneumonia
Q) visitors?:
A) limited to family seeing hilton. But we love having people down for a hug watch the blog cause every once and a while we ask for a break... No junk food.. Ok a little chocolate or kat would like a box of mike and ikes
Q: when will he get out of ICU
A) ????

Q) what can you do
A) pray, give positive energy send a photo of two finger to show support for hilton and solidarity in long boarder DOT regulated helmets....get a sticker but a t-shirt all money goes, not part all money will go to buying helmets

Q)why a public blog.
A) cause I need to tell so many people this was the easy way, hilton need as much energy as possible, his family wants to be surrounded by love and good thought, we struggle to find good right now... And the pictures and love and prayers make us strong in return we: I bring that huge fucking strength to my son. I pour it on him, I read comments, I show him pics... I let him know that he can't give up because thousands and thousand of people are watching....
And its a diary of the events... So I can remeber ever moment... Because I never want to forget it....
Q) what are the working on now today this hour... And in the ICU each hour is stand alone... So as I type this, hilton health mandate will change again...

A) waking him up and find the source of this flu he has.... Kick down his fever.


I'm working my way back downtown with my other baby KAt, she is 17 and not a baby....

We bought some food for camp hilton , went to my office for a shit show, stan and I spoke today at my office as he cried. With tears dripping down his face he told me his struggle with his balanced universe and there must be a reason for this why, god... Why....

I'm so pissed off, I'm so angry... God dammit.... Why

I had to leave my office , my skin is so dry and tight from the tears... I love hilton so much.... Its just not fucking right... There is something wrong with this god... Show me the fucking way... Please


Hi Uncle Timmy <3

Me and Sydney are thinking about Hilton 24/7. Hang in there - You guys are all so strong. We wanted you guys to know that we are sending all our thoughts and prays to him.

You have all the positive energy from the Maritimes coming to Hilton!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo love each and every one of you.

Jessa & Sydney