Emotional, physically..... ......When does the turmoil stop,
Sigh...
Hiltons birthday is around the corner, trying to get his last present ready for his 21st birthday,
•( See pic) A cool stone, thanks to 404 stone and Dave the engraver...that will memorialized HIM for life...
I promise to post lots of pictures.......
And tell you where it is so you can go...
There will be no fan fare a closed door event,
to put his ashes to rest,
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•As you can see from the blog we have moved the videos to the front
We got hilton's voice from his voice mail, and josef from lifeline took the liberty to put some pictures to it,
( I have not listened to it)
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I have had people again ask me to remove and change stuff on the blog, I just can't change what I wrote, sorry...
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Work is weird, some days I feel like I'm king of the world, sometimes I feel like curling up and vomiting,
•to my staff, mike, stan, Less, robin,..... And there people , there teams
....thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there , not for the pay cheque but because you wanted to help and continue to help.... You guys have good people around you and please make sure you thank everyone for helping out...
I want to thank Jim ( he took me golfing, and I really needed to get out,
My sleep habits suck.... Fore instance ... I don't sleep....
Dreams are
no longer dreams of my son, but of people I don't know well, yet have met once
trying to take away a person from my life....
I have loss issues!!!!
Scared to lose anything...... Dave told me that...
I just don't want to lose any more stuff, ... I will figure this out....???!!!???
My my moms boyfriend, my brothers all call me "arrogant", .......
Everyone has high expectations of me, yet when I perform under pressure and make choices,-
keep movin forward,
it becomes arrogant..... And I am..!!!
Its in my make up,
I know ( sigh.... Its good for people to tell me so I can improve myself)
I'm controlling
I'm egotistical...
I'm humble
Kind
And
fair
Actually for all my shitty qualities I have .... I think I have a few good ones....
Whoops I'm being arrogant....again..
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Fuck who cares what others think.... Everyone is so critical....
I can only be me, and I have to be good with me...
I hope my kids kat and georg are good with themselves regardless of who is critical.....of them..
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So a girl approached me at the aurora pool while I was swimming with me kids and said: "i recognised my tattoo".... (Sigh)She knew it was for hilton, she said she was at the funeral.
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Sigh......... Wtf do ya do with that... A strange person approaches and says.........I knew your kid, I'm proud and sad, scared, and worried......
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I have a new friend, she is cool, and is a lot of fun,
She can be tough on me, hard, challenge me to be strong, yet still be very kind, yet sometime I don't think she knows that she challenges me to be more confident....
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Chris. Came into stans office to show some cool stuff that the group are doing for hilton
They made
Some cool plates for the top of the boards and a key chain , dog tag....
Fucking awesome...
Easter by the way was fucked up for me..... Displaced, lost and awkward, a new family, kindly allowed me to enjoy there company.....
Hilton, I love you......
This year of first is really hard, and every time I think I have. My act together.......I don't......
Hilton I miss you......
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