From katie byrne Hiltons cousin

A memory

After my Dads second wedding, all the cousins including myself and Hilton got driven home in a limosine. The driver went all out and even put the partition up...which was a bad idea considering the vivid imagination of the Byrne family, combined with Mine and Hiltons sense of humour. Once the partition had been raised we told everyone that it was because the driver was going to release a gas that would kill us or knock us out. We laughed and Kat, Alex, Jess, and Sydney proceeded to bawl loudly all the way home.

Hilton was a good friend to me, on top of being my cousin. It was nice to have somebody who was on the same level as you to chat with during family functions or outings. Hilton and I were just starting to become buddies, and I am so sad that that got cut short and that we couldnt have shared more time together. Im sorry we never got those drinks, or took those motorcycle lessons. But I am glad we had time to talk, call alex idiot, pick stawberries, and visit Nana, Len and GG at rice lake. I cant believe youre gone Hilti, its really not fair, and those are thoughts that will repeat in my mind probably forever. There was so much about Hilton you instictively loved.

The full body laugh, his sense of humour and his company are things that cannot be replaced, ever. Since his passing it has been so hard to adjust. The displacement i feel in the family will not be easily remedied. It is absolutely exhausting when there is so much change in your life that you can feel it down to your core, in your bones, in the steps you take everyday. But thats not something you can just sleep off. Every jeep you see, every stadia truck, every beatles song you hear, every ill humoured book, and especially any longboarder you see reminds you of everything about our Hilton. It hurts so much knowing that it cant be anything more than a memory, no matter how much you cry, want or hope.

That said, i know that any pain i feel will only resonate into a stronger memory. Hilton is somebody who has to be celebrated, he was too full of life not to be. We have to remember the good times, the funny times, and even the bad times, because those moments are what made Hilton into the person he became. And lets face it, he was a great person.

We all love you Hilton
and there is no way you will ever be forgotten

Love Katie

The big finish boxing day family dinner

No shit shows at dinner....

As my family and close friends gathered for dinner the 15+ of us sat a huge table full of food and laughter.....

No one said Hiltons name...

Not a word....


We laughed and talked, you could tell that everyone was avoiding it,

Usually I like to crack a joke about the big pink elephant in the room.....

But to today, tonight was not the time and place....
Everyone was missing Hilton beyond belief, and no one wanted the shit show...


We just need to get through this..

Be strong,

I know that all of us on our drives home will discuss the courage and strength... And how surprisingly well the night went considering the opportunity for failure..

------------------------------
my mom ask a month ago should we even have a big dinner? And I said with out hesitation..."YES, its year of firsts and new starts with out hilton"...." And if we don't keep facing our fears our fears will eat us up"-... Hilton wants us to continue living...
He loved christmas ... He loved the family get together....
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we will celebrate christmas and all family gatherings in HILTONS honour....


2010 is almost done, thanks god "new years eve" is not a big deal....

Yet our up come trip mont tremblant is.... Ouch...
We have gone in the first week of january to
mont tremblant every year for 13+ years maybe more... Since hilton was 7 or 8....

So many stories....

So this up coming week will be hard....

But my family is strong...

MERRY christmas hilton... Now that its over I'm gonna cry ok... Don't think I'm weak buddy .. I just miss you.... So much...

Love you, miss you,

Good bless
Sweet dreams don't let the bed bugs bite

Ps:

Kellie you better rest if your gonna snow board.......

Half way through Christmas holiday.

Kellie is ok, just sore,

She really scared us the other  night, getting home at 3:30 in the morning....

Kats home from being with her mom....


I have made "stuffing" on my own , no hilton the world best chopper, and prepped veggies with kellie, for tomorrow feast,

In all honest.. Christmas day is more about hiltons hand in the pot rather then chopping... Be he loved to. Hang out with me in the kitchen.

We do our big dinner tomorrow on boxing day, always have, .. It was just easier then christmas day, for the kids moms, everyone grandmas. Nieces...

We have 15 people coming and it should be fun.

Our big gift opening was good, ya know the big rip, no one discussed Hilton, it was like we were all avoiding the Obvious
And it was fun...

At 7:30pm

Georg and I took kellies truck and went to town park for a skate under the lights, great fun, and I loved being with her.

Go home hung our stuff next to the fire,

Walk into the kitchen.
 Kat hug me and I said ......" You having a bad day... She replied quietly.....ever day is a bad day.....

(that about sums it up eh)
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Dannys wife , love her sends me a text so we can mutually find out how each other is doing and coping.
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At the end of christmas day 2010 I'm not poetic, there is no drama, I'm  tired and its done, thank god its done.....not as bad as I thought , worse then I could ever expect.

Kat and georg chatted about hilton and all the stuff they're  going through, christmas  night 10:30pm ended  with kellie, georg, peaches and me all wedged in my bed passed out , tv still on... Everone snoring...

So I got up and went into kats room and she look like she is ok, a sleep

 so I climbed back in to my corner of my bed and fell asleep.........

Merry christmas HILTON..

I love you buddy....

If you were here
I would say.... And every body reading this blog at this point would say with me

God bless
Sweet dreams
Don't let the bed bugs bite...

Christmas Eve.. without hilton...and kellie in hospital....WTF

Christmas day without hilton is like having a peanut butter and jam sandwich without the peanut butter

Its like snowboarding without snow...

Its like sunbathing in the shade

Its like fucking shit..... Its like god fucked you over.


Its like god kicked you in the nuts....

I miss him more then anything ,
 my heart is ripping out of my chest,
 and pounding on the floor, bleeding and I'm watching

I can see him in every corner,
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Kat saw him last night in her dreams ,
Hilton  hugged her, and told her he was ok and when he was done working he would be home for christmas.......
------------------------------------
Motherfucker cock sucker, asshole...
AaaaAaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAaaawwwaawwwwww

I would give up my life for his god ,
 take me....
Give him back...

Its not fucking fare... You motherfucker... Its not fare...

I WANT HIM BACK.....
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Topper

Last night / christmas EVE kat, georg and josef,  and I waited for kellie, as she went to the hospital wilth robin with chest pain, WTF, she has text me all night into the morning....

I have never been so scared, cause me and the girls could not live with anymore loss....

Kat fell asleep on the couch waiting for kellie to tell us she is ok....

Well kellie ann whalen I'm not doing this without you.

I'm not bring up these girls without you.... FUCK YOU... I'm willing every. Drop  of positive energy I have left  to kellie right now...

Stop the chest pain god, let us have some peace in this family....

She made it home safe and sound, and its a bone tissue bruse in her chest.....
Home at 3:30am
Scared the shit out of me...
--------------------------------

Merry christmas kellie, georg and kat...

We are ok.....

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Lester's Drawing a christmas present....

Dear santa

I hope you had a good year, because my family didn't.

I'm hoping you can bring love and happiness and good stuff for 2011

I'm hoping you can bring good memories of hilton without tears.

Make sure Hilton is ok and is in a good place,


Make sure Hilton helps us and show us he is ok now and then.

God bless Hilton please


Love

Dad.

Ps: georga and I will leave extra carrots for the reindeer....

Pss: how is rudolph?

Gift rapping

As I sit and rap gifts in my living room alone, bows and ribbons everywhere christmas tree lites twinkle......

 I remember how hilton would go shopping. For christmas gift last minute, last year he actually bragged that he left the office at 3pm dec 24 and got home at 6pm before robin and got all his shopping done...heheheh and then ask me to step into my bed room and show me all the gift he bought... For kat, his mom, kellie, georg. Nan...

As he got older he loved to spend his money on gifts,

Hilton loved christmas, time stood still for him,  for the three day christmas eve, christmas day, and boxing day...
Boxing day as the kids got older was the great day, when all the family made there way to our house, for the big dinner..........

I remember when he ask me what to buy kellie and what do I know...... So he bought a dust buster for kel, it was a big gift 50.00 he was 14 maybe 15......

He was so happy.....

Kellie was not so happy....hedheheh. She was- and she wasn't ....ya know....

Today kellie tells me how much she loves it and she still has it, And I don't think she will ever ger rid of it.

Hilton really loved making dinner, peeling carrots, helping me in the kitchen. It was a time for hin and I to bond, we would drink coffe, and laugh tell funny stupid. Family stories....


I have so many memories, christmas is a special time because its a time when the world stops and we can take stock of everyone around us.....

LOVE YOUR CHILDREN they are a gift......

hilton loved to learn about new riders

I went to Blue this weekend...

...and I learned to snowboard. Hilton would have been proud. He's been hounding me to learn for ages and would get so stoked every time I told him I wanted to learn. He would have made a damned good teacher. If there's one thing he loved more than longboarding, it was snowboarding.

Just thought I'd share,

- Albert.

Vermont killington, Hiltons first stop, the run is called HIGH Traverse

After hearing  the devastating news of Danny on the thursday its seemed even more important for Kat and I to get out of  dodge so to speak,

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Thurs dec 16 2010

Danny, what we had thought to be a health guy of 49 years of age, passed away last night, in his wife's arms..

I saw silenna his wife at 9am....  Made sure she was still standing...
And offer support.
Hugs..

Then to the office
( I made that sound so, a matter of fact....it was .not)

After meeting my staff a 2cd time in less the 60 day over a sudden death in stadia family....
Ensuring that we are a family and we must help each other through our grief, and to learn to cope sober,
My staff have now seen the full me,
and the ones that have read this bog...ouch, look out.... They no more about me then me!!!


My office day was done..... Thank christ it was done....

I'm really tired and I feel a head cold coming on....

I have "not" been sick since my life turned  up side down. Not a cold, flu, nothing... This is my bodies way of saying..."shut down now".....

As I got home with peaches( my english bull dog )  by my side, I was heating up a frozen dinner alone,and then  a knock on my door,

There stood,
 robin who is not just a friend but also takes care of me at work...
She is standing in my door with her daughter Julie...

Julie ( age 21)  was in the final doctors meeting regarding my SON hilton,,, I have not seen her since the funeral, and she looks tired, but good, she has had a tough 45 days not only has hilton left us for ever
her own family is going through a rough spot.

As we sat on my couch and shot the shit I realised I had to get going...90 minutes passed

It was Soooo nice to see julie.. She makes me feel warm...

Kat was working at mastermind and wanted me to bring peaches in to see all the girls


And then I had to run and get georg before trampoline u

I'm getting up at 3am
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Friday dec 17 2010

3:16.am I woken ,  in the shower.... And started to cry ... I sobbed so hard.... My shoulders shuddered in a exhausted heaving uncontrollable... With steam filling the room.... I was in the shower for 30 minutes , not un normal... But usually I'm  do something in  the shower other then cry for 30 minutes.... ( That sounded bad but was not intended)

 As I dry off and get my self together,,

Kat is up and its 4:03 am...and I'm packing up
kat showered the night before and she was packed..

To the kichen , crumpet in the toaster, peanut butter and jam yummy . I started the truck, we pack up.. And we were on our way..

First stop.....you know it....

Tim hortans....

4:30am
On the highway heading south east....  Toward vermont...
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Kat and I talked the whole way... About fuck all, but it was good, boyfriends, and girlgfriend work , moms, dads, ....

On thesubject of rambling!
A teacher.....
 kats Art teacher told kat on thursday, that she should not be looking for sympathy marks... WTF, kat is a 17 year old girl, and its been 45 days...since...hilton...died... So I think all her teachers should shut up as she goes through a year of firsts....with out hilton.
I'm not sure what her teacher  said but it made kat feel sick....

As we pull into the "iNN on the long trail"....
We meet an old guy name okie.... He is a hippy, that runs the front desk at night, hangs out at the bar.... And talks to all the guests...

If you ever come to killington this is a cute, lovely warm place to come...

Music ever weekend at the bar, with irish gigs

Kat and I settle in to our room, two shit single beds miss match pillows, a shower that is clean , but not fancy.

We rest, have a nap..
Go into town, buy me some goggles and gloves

Back to the room at the iNN... For a nap again, by this time my HEAD COLD is out of control.. And I can't breath and my head hurts...
My skins hurts...

As we go down for dinner irish stew and freshly baked irish soda bread... OMG its so good,

After we finish you can here the irish band next door begin to play,
kat and I make our way over , they have a huge rock set off to one side in the bar,  it a rock that sits half inside and half out side the building / PUB
 They have build seats around it so its part of the decor.. It so cool....

We order a BEER, gunises, I think I'm here for my dad... Son or danny....

We drink the beer kat does not like it,
she sips slow to make me happy....out of respect...

We laugh and clap to a few songs, my head hurts and I have to go to bed,

As we rap it up
Off to bed,
 kat has a shower I take some drugs,
off we go to sleep,
 it seems when your so sick... Morning comes really fast.


It 7:30am the sun is beaming into our window... It is a beautiful cold day -9 maybe a little warmer

We make our way down stairs and sit in front of a window that shows the back of the INN, our view is a majestic Rock 20' high and 8' wide tipped up on edge , it looks like it could roll at any time into the window, small drift of snow, a pine tree grown , clinging from the side of the rock for dear life, ( see the pic) and in this quiet moment kat and I made EYE contact,  old soft sad irish folk music play in the back ground and a tear dropped from her green eyes  on to the linen table cloth... I ask did she have hilton.... And she. Said yes... ( A little black urn)

the lady Who served us  says her last name is BYRNE as well.... And she ask if we needed anything else...
Kat smile and with good manners like I have always shown her
She said sweetly
" No thanks"


We sat there in silence looking out the window at the big rock, for 15 minutes before we moved,
 Kat and I were a little apprehensive about going to the ski hill,

But we made it.... In no rush....

We hit the hill, got in our snow pants, sun was out -5 a little snow, not to crowed, ( killington has rude skiers, compared to other resorts)
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Last year just after christmas we, kellie, me, hilton, kat  and georg rented a house and came to killington.... One of those day hilton and I took off on our own... And a lot of snow board video was shot here at killington....

So kat and I now where we are going and what we want to snow board...

We stopped for lunch and said its time to find a place for HILTONS  ashes...


After lucnh we hit the snow up one side down the other...of this mountain

I told kat to find a place that would be great for hilton....

She said " no you, "

UuuMmmm KAt.... ( What do I say..... Ok fine?

As we went down the hill there was the moment,
The trees covered in ice, drips of sunlight between snow flakes
The view was great you could see the gondola to the lower left and the valley beyond that...
 the RUN was called

 High Traverse-

We stopped,
 I behind kat sitting in the snow...

 kat, cried sitting 3 feet In front of me her back to me, but I can hear her wimper, shoulders slightly moving we can see the valley sun dance with snow and clouds, -9 ish we are not Cold
Tall snow covered pines, you could see the gondola and hear laughter, it all be came calm and surreal....

I slide down rolled on to my knees and ask kat for hilton,
 she handed me the little black urn, with brass strips, no words said, she made eye  contact...

spilled his ashes in front of me on the snow,
 put my fingers in the snow &  ash mixing them together a little... Just a touch,
, ... I told kat that it was ok, hilton was in a good place, and now he is here at killington too....

She cried...... So did I......

We sat there in silence,

We are gonna miss you hilton.... Fuck we miss you so much......

Danny

Danny a long time team member of stadia passed away this morning,

Almost 18 years on and off...

He was 49 years old...

Can't believe it....

I'm fed up GOD, I'm fed up with the bullshit,

Can you please let me , leave me,
 my family friends and staff alone... For 3 months... Just leave us alone 3 little months..

Danny you were loved....

Hilton make sure he is ok when he gets there....

Cutting our tree down for christmas

Cutting the tree down in the byrne family was a tradition,

I promised my kids hilton, katherine Georga, that as long as I can walk I'm cutting a tree down and they will be going with me.

Each year, rain , shine , snow cold... We would get up one sunday morning no less then 2 weeks out from christmas and pick the fattest  tree we could get.
Kellie loved a fat tree...

We always bring the dogs,

And we always go to drysdales... Out on 48 .....
Locals will get this.

They have the best marriage saver tree stand,

this tree stand adds at least 5 years to any marriage guaranteed

once you cut your tree, they shake it, cut the end for you and then drill a 1/2 hole up the centre.... Which then you screw
the drysdale marriage save tree stand
 in the bottom..... Whala... One great tree up in 5 minutes ready to decorate and you lose the natural feeling  to kill your wife....cause if she had told you one more time to move it to the left............Ehehehehehhe
maybe you do  wanna  kill your wife?? ??? Anyway....

We would get up, and funny things is hilton would always be the first ready to go, , anything we did as a family he would always be first up even as a teenager,
I would make fun of him because he was first,
 he told me the only reason he got up was cause he didn't want to get "yelled" at,...... I say: "ya right".....

I like to think that I made life so much fun... He was so fucking happy  to get out of bed... Ehehehehh

He always dressed in this underwear, OMG-  long johns that would make the poorest guy in the world look rich...
Torn long johns, multi colour t-shirts, sock that went to his knees,
Bad hair.. Stuffed up morning nose,
 always had elephant shit in his eyes...
(Elephant poop is crusty eye snot...) For those who would like to use the term...

And he always had a great coloured  "where is waldo winter Hat... Green and blue stripped."
 the only hat that fit, cause hilton has the biggest byrne head

Over & above  the
 unspeakable wardrobe that no one has ever seen out side the family,  he had A sweet jacket and snow pants........
And  from  age 12 to 17 he would wear sneakers...  Yet By 18. He realised boots were better......( Eh dad was right!!)

We would all get up, usually this day was the first day to find all the mittens,  hats. Boots , gloves.... And "crazy town"  in our house begins.. Yelling screaming , dogs barking, kellie and georga brush there hairs for hours ( 10 minute)and hilt, and I are exhaust from watching....
Begals! .....,  the toasters Going ,
 cream cheese and yum yum pickles...
The best... "You know it"...
Hilton loved a bagel with cream cheese, pickles or tomato....( He was a fan)

The cinnamon bagel was his first choice for year...

....kellie would feed the dogs......  georg has to draw a picture,
kats got some dance music going, and not talking to anyone unless she
 is screaming someone's name..in anger .... Cause she has to give someone grief....

Hilton would be looking for something? Socks?? Who knows...
 And hilton would be Telling some one to "shut up"... In a tired huff........

...... in the truck we would go.........
( 5 minutes)
And back to the house we would go.......
" Everyone stay put..... I will get the saw............ Shit
Every year I forget the saw...


It wouldn't  be a family drive with out hilton telling georga to " shut up" ...
And me saying
 in a deep voice "hilton...stop .... Please...."

 he would reply with: ... "She is so annoying errrrrr" ......

as we pull up to drysdale, all hoping it would snow on the way out...  Coffee in hand hilton drinks his coffee the same as me "one milk" ... ( Sigh)

Click the truck into 4 wheel drive and into the make shift lot.... Mud- snow
I loved the whole thing and so did hilti... And the girls..
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( Once we went on a weekday, and it was sunny the day after it rained... Hilti was 9 or 10 and he sat on my lap and drove my truck around in the muddy fielda... (Boy was that a hoot))
---------------------------------
Ok back to the story........

Dogs jump out of the truck, bean and coco..,  everyone find there gloves.. I would yell at hilton to grab the saw... Out of the truck... He would say why can't Kat carry it...

And we are off......
Across the street down a wooded path to a huge fire and the smell of lions club cheap hot chocolate .. And horse shit...wood burning fire all ...very romantic setting..... Joking a side it was always great to be here with my family

( ciaran was the only none family member every aloud  on this trip, he was one of our surrogate kids)

On the wagon , two big sweaty horse with sleigh bells ringing and a red wagon...

Hilton and I would make seasonal fun of other people... And off we go,  he always took a seat next to kat,  I'm not sure what the spoke about... But they giggled and had fun...

15 minutes.... off we got, we followed the  head christmas tree person super hero in charge  of the perfect tree.. The one and only tree picker of the family , none could be cut down with out her 360 degree blessing................. Drum roll.....introducing  KELLIE..... This drove hilton nuts......  That with out kellies blessing I would not let hilton or I saw a single stroke...

Kellie loves her tree, and hilton just want to end the pain... to cut the first one he saw... He liked the saw and want to get home, he was cold ansd bored of waiting for kellie to pick a tree.....
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I believe its because when he was 8 years old and this one year, it was (-25) we stopped for hot chocolate .... Just after inspector 12 pick the tree.....
Hilton with a grin looking forward to the sweat warmth of his lions club hot chocalate ,
 I put 3 creams in his hot styrafoam cup and dropped in 2 big marsh mellow...

To try and add flavour to the Brown water lions club served.
With a wooded stir stick I walked  hilton over the the fire pit flames 5' in the air you could feel the warmth with this cold air. The kind of canadian cold air that makes your nostrils freeze in a single breath.....
I handed him the steaming cup.......
 Telling my little buddy to blow on it cause its really hot...

Hilton took a single step forward to the hot fire and out from beneath hilton comes his feet , like Fed flinstone...
Up go both feet and down goes the hot cup of hot chocolate all over the front of his jacket... And with a loud scream........ And a flash freeze of water on his jacket
 there lay my son like a turtle on his back....in snow and ice... Bundled tight he could barely move...
Hilties Mouth wide open screaming in front of 40 strangers...... A deafening continues scream....as we quickly ran to the car.....

I guess it was slippery.... Eh who knew???

Merry christmas everyone that's my boy.....

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This year alex came with us... Kat whispered to me its the worst weekend of her life.... We all cried...

At least it snowed...........

Where are you hilton....

Snow boarding first day won't be the same

With the first day of snow boarding at mt. St. Louis tomorrow...

Hilton and I would have picked up our boards from KENMARK snow baords and ski shop... Fresh wax, good stories, hand shakes and hugs , smart mouth comments from all the guys.... And ken would give you a look like ....yeah what took you so long...to get your boards out of the store.

Hilti was cremated with his snow board gear on... Helmet, coat, gloves... Snow pants... Everything... Because we wanted him prepared for his journey with everything... He would want and need... He had just purchased the best coat with his own money, and he loved his gear....

Kat has his favioute board and his two beater boards we have Len, my moms boyfriend, who hilton really liked.... Len is building a sweet park bench out of his two shit beater  boards....

We snow baord every weekend,
And we always bring friend and family to teach and laugh at... The more people the better.. Hilton loved the crowed , just like the rest of us....

Hilton would get up before us... Even if he was out till 2am... It only took a russel of me up and he would jump in the shower and suck away the hot water pressure .... And be down stairs in his long johns, and getting all his gear together... Some toast, we would cut up an orange, glass of grape juice....

He was never good at packing the truck.. Hilton and I would fight on how to do it almost ever sunday morning he would tell me it does not fit..... And it did..

And yes we would stop and get timmies before we get on the 400 highway.

As we would pull into the parking lot of mt. St. Louis the first thing I would do is "gun it"  to a wicked donut in my wife's 8 passenger SUV, , and freak out all the staff,..... loud music kellie telling me to be careful....

Out of the truck ..... we come... Loud and full of fight, fun and laughs... In the main lodge.... and out on the hill,

As lunch approached... "Hans" the sandwich guy... The same sandwich guy for 20 years who has watch all my kids grow up... Always says hi, and remarks how the kids have grown.... In his german accent...

Fuck I'm  scared to see him or any of the girls at the counter...

Didn't matter how cold , or how little snow ... We loved first day....

It was our time , snow boarding, was a religion for us..it brought is together, to talk laugh, play, teach, learn... As a family...

Every time it has snowed this fall my girls cry... And say it hilton....

Every time it snows my throat get tight and I can barely breath....

First day without out you buddy . won't be the same...
Fuck... I miss hilti...

Artwork

 

Art work for our winter hats

Mousepath graphics , thanks for taking the time to create a "
hilti, masterpiece" ....

Rob and kellys cottage: 1999 or 1998

These are great picture that were found in my office.... Under a pile... We spent a weekend at kelly and roberts cottage....... With all the hilti was the only boy....

freemont 11-12 can't help but miss him..

Freemont academy ( fellow student, sending photos and a little note)

This is what I'm talking about, a story or a memory
Thanks from the family

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Hi there!

I'm not too sure how to go about writing this email...I guess I should
start by telling you who I am; my name is Francey and I went to
Freemont with Hilton a while ago. I've read your blog almost everyday
and although Hilton and I weren't BFF's or anything, its still
heartbreaking and distressing to think that he's gone forever. I
constantly read the blog and I know that you like hearing stories from
people about how Hilton effected peoples lives. I'll admit I don't
have any specific stories, but I DO have pictures and I just wanted to
let you know that even in small ways, Hilton touched my life. I only
knew him in grade 9, but I specifically remember he was very funny! I
would be walking by his classes and constantly hear laughter and
joking. He always seemed to have a smile on his face! I remember we
saw each other on the way to school and walked together and although I
don't exactly remember what he said, I distinctly remember the whole
walk we were just laughing! He really was an amazing guy, and I feel
downright lucky to have known him, even for just a short time! I have
attached some old pictures that were taken at Freemont (one is from
halloween and is kinda funny).

Have a great day!

Francey

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Safe,

We are working on our constitution, and board, and a committee for a race circuit...
I need every one to remember that we are gonna drive the safety of all board sports, education... And Racing

Thanks to TD bank and life line.. IT solutions For sponsoring my sons efforts.... Safety and sports...

Give a little save a kids head from an injury.....

Christmas shopping

......Ran away from work....

work is so hard to build up the energy to be there....

..... hilton was a huge part of my office and shop,

Mike W and talked about it yesterday.. And he misses him too.... How he just did things, how clean the shop was, .....how well he got along with hilton.....


It really overwhelm s me , being in the office having all these people around... Who knew him, good or bad...

I saw eugene today, and he says he is doing ok,,,

He gave me this look..


Everyone is having a tough time with hilton being gone...
Most of all because I have changed... I often wonder is my change forever....??????????

With out hilton in my life , my life will never be the same again...

I guess I have to learn to live with the change...

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Christmas shopping ,

we used to count gifts, make sure georg, kat and hilt all got the same amount of things to open... Specifically hilti and kat because they are so close in Age.... The would make sure they got to open the same amount.

We bought something with a "K" on it... And they had a "H" thing right beside it....

It made me cry.....( Sigh)

I really fuck'n hate that he is gone....

I loved shopping for boys stuff, yet hilton was the pickest guy on the planet...

Kellie once bought a game where as, the object of the game was to be electrocuted, fun right, for a boy...................
Hilton hated it... He was insulted we bought him this gift...

Kellie figure its because way back when we live at a rental home at 18 church in aurora Hilti put his finger in a broken socket,..plate.... And got a 110 V shock... He was 4 and he told us that a huge monster in the wall tried to get him... And he didn't like electricity after that.....

Not buying him gifts sucks....

Julie thinks hilti didn't drive that well...

Or maybe Tim

I remember when Kaity and I flew back from Nova Scotia one summer, you picked us
up at the airport. Our parents were driving back and wouldn't arrive until the
next day. For some reason I remember some really odd music on your stereo (the
wizard of oz soundtrack comes to mind, but I think that's wrong). You drove
like a madman...trying to be funny and get home fast all at once.

We slept on the floor of Georga's room (I remember you had it painted by
then....so this must have been the summer before she was born). In the morning
when we woke up, I wandered downstairs and Kat and Hilt found me. They took me
down to the basement to meet KiKi (Cieran)...they introduced us by jumping on
him as he slept and tickling him till he woke up.

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This past summer when Hilton and I went out to dinner, he drove us in his Jeep.
The doors were off and as we zoomed in and out of other cars on the road, I
remember thinking "Oh god! He drives like Tim!"

Love
Julie Stephenson

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