Tuesday, January 18, 2011

78 days

And I just finished the worst week ever....

And its the beginning of another..
I was a emotional wreck last week,  tough really tough and so hard to quantify in words..

I really tired of being sad, lonely and missing hilton...

I feel desperate at times.... Like there is no place to turn
anxiety rules my life. And I fight to keep it back...

Flash backs... Lots of weird flash backs...

Being alone at night awake with my thoughts are making me go crazy.

Meeting people  post Hiltons death OMG is killing me, I get really nervous knowing im gonna have to deal with the. " How are you?"

Yet, I love hearing how great he was , strories, and that the furneral was the best ever..
Each person I see its like a marathon...out of breath...  needing to run another kilometre but this marathon is not stopping
Cope sober... That what I chant to my staff...hilton and danny, both member of the stadia/ byrne family both passed away within 50 days of each other.. All the guys and girls in my office have been in a weird zombie state,

So getting drunk or high right now would be a crutch you can get off of later


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