78 days

And I just finished the worst week ever....

And its the beginning of another..
I was a emotional wreck last week,  tough really tough and so hard to quantify in words..


I really tired of being sad, lonely and missing hilton...

I feel desperate at times.... Like there is no place to turn
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anxiety rules my life. And I fight to keep it back...

Flash backs... Lots of weird flash backs...
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Being alone at night awake with my thoughts are making me go crazy.

Meeting people  post Hiltons death OMG is killing me, I get really nervous knowing im gonna have to deal with the. " How are you?"

Yet, I love hearing how great he was , strories, and that the furneral was the best ever..
But..............
Each person I see its like a marathon...out of breath...  needing to run another kilometre but this marathon is not stopping
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Cope sober... That what I chant to my staff...hilton and danny, both member of the stadia/ byrne family both passed away within 50 days of each other.. All the guys and girls in my office have been in a weird zombie state,

So getting drunk or high right now would be a crutch you can get off of later

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