I have been strong, I have prayed, I have asked for help, I have held hands, i have strong kids,
my wife kellie is the best, she is dynamic, kind, warm, strong, even at my worst... She is strong...
I have never been so fucked up in my life,
the pain runs so deep, it feels like I'm being ripped apart and no one can stop it....
Hilton lays there not moving, as I watch helpless,
I can barely catch my breath....
My vision is blurred for tears just won't stop,
I wrench my torso, so I can get control of my emotion, at any moment I want to collapse and wake from this dream, from this nightmare...
I'm not a religious man and I'm guilty of turning to God only when I need him,
Well..... I need him now
Do you know the prayer... the one set of footsteps in the sand and you complain that god screwed off on you.... And you stop and realize that.... He.....he is carrying you...
Shit I must be a huge dead weight...
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Next to hiltons bed is a man , and he has been here the same amount of time... And he is moving and his LOC is good, I'm so happy for them...
When will it be hiltons turn... Is that selfish... Is that wrong... I'm envious....god that sound so terrible....
My world is spinning...
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I'm not perfect, I have done sinful things in my life, but hilton does not deserve to pay for any of my sins...
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Mother fucker cock sucker fuck fuck fuck
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Please god:
keep away all bad/negative people and thoughts
and only allow good people and thoughts...positive people .....only positive thoughts only....
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What ever happens it will be the right thing
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