Today was the day
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Penny, kellie and I had our final talk with Dr. Simone, Dr. Lawless... (And my sister- cause she can listen while we cry) , And we're told that his Diffuse axonal injury was bad.. I guess we were all hoping to hear something else....
Don't google this....
Please...DON'T
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The hilton we know will not becoming back....
And we have to make some choices..... How and when what we are going to do....
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I went for a walk with my sister... Who said to me; "listen to hilton... And you will find your way"
Penny, kellie and I were done Talking .
I was about to call another , the third family meeting...and Out of left field...
john ( the nurse)( fuck I love john) sent for me....to come to the ICU ASAP....
As I came around the corner holding my breath. he introduced me to a man named Anthony...
A volunteer who sat down with me ... And said before you make any choice on the next journey, he stop and pulled down the neck of his shirt to show me his trach scar and said I had Diffuse axonal brain damage.. In 1997, and john was my nurse and they ( the doctors) told my father I would not be coming back....and here I am to tell you I made it.....
"Please tim, what ever you decide will be right for your son.... But please give him another day..."
John looked at me, and I said; "you have become my guardian angle.... Fuck you" he laughed ( in a friendly warm way as he went about his business,
john said "I will be back... Wednesday and hilton can wait until wednesday too".... "So wait til I came back..."
I touched johns shoulder and left the ICU
I told penny in a solid voice; "we wait"...
She looked like a 1,000,000 pounds came off her shoulders,
kellie ( I love my wifes fucking amazing strength,) told me I would find my way....
The family in the Waiting room, all of these people looked at me with relief... And I was too....
Deep breath... Every body reading this take a deep breath...
This was a selfish day for me...
I get to keep my son for another day...
hilton lives another day to fight....
I love you hilton....
Penny loves you
Kellie , more then any ( non DNA person) one loves you... she is a step mother who despite being shit on your whole life and challenged by many, made sure you finished high school, and did your home work , went to doctors and insisted that you be a success....
She fought with penny, felt like a third wheel, but never stopped loving you like a real mom... Very cool lady...I respect her tons...
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I can not be selfish,
we must do the right thing by hilton....
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God bless
Sweet dreams
Don't let the bed bugs bite
You are my little buddy..
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Ps: send photos , keep sending photos... Please..hilton 2 fingers for safety...
The people of St. Mike's are wonderful, you all should be proud to be part of this ICU
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What a fucking day, I need to find a way to sleep,... When does this end...
Everybody stay strong. Thats what Hilton needs. Im really at a loss for words so I'll just keep it short.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of, and understands) those who take refuge and trust in Him. Nahum 1:7
keep believing, and keep strong, he is young, and he has been able to respond, it is amazing what the brain and body can do when they have to fight hard enough for something, and everyone has been pushing pretty hard for him to fight for it.
ReplyDeleteyou met someone else with his prognosis, who apparently shouldn't have been able to tell you about it, but was able to tell you about it, so you know anything is possible.