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> The sun is out today...
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> It makes you feel good because the warm sun is beating down on you... but it also brings a rush of sadness. I miss Hilton so much..every single minute of every day. I told Ivi last night...it's like he walks beside me where ever I go. It's nice because I have him there but at the same time it brings a pain that sometimes feels almost unbearable. I'll always feel the pain...I want to feel it, I don't want to push it away, though. I feel it..really feel it because you need a "down" to have an "up" and vice versa.
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> Anyway, I thought of a funny story (or at least it's funny to me and Hilton) today while I was outside on the swing we spent a lot of time on. I had to dodge poops in the backyard because the snow just melted all at once and suddenly there's so much...gross! It made me remember...
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> Once when Hilton was over, we were going through old records/cd's in my basement and there was a dog poop on the floor. It was really gross, and I didn't want to pick it up because we CONSTANTLY were finding dog poops down there when my two dogs got down there. I told him to look away then I gently placed a playing card over it...and voila.. problem solved, right?
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> He never let me forget that! He would laugh his ass off and push my shoulder playfully when he laughed at me. He wasn't freaked out, he just thought I was gross..which I'm fine with..haha. It made me laugh....thinking to myself outside on the swing today...it's a small memory but huge at the same time.
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> I miss him so much and sometimes I NEED him here. Its a very unique pain when you need something you can't have. I loved him...I'm in love with him still and although he's not physically coming back, he walks with me every day.
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> I talk to him every day....and dog poop reminds me of him. Yeah... dog poop...and I'm alright with that!
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> Don't cry from this email...try not to cringe either! He's awesome and he walks with you, too, Tim.
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> Love always
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> Natalie
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