Meeting and greeting after hilton is gone

Ps: there is snow on the ground out in Caven

Never have I had such a difficult time shaking hands, speaking, meeting old friends ...

I would be happier if your didn't know me or hilton..

Kellie says we are in a fish bowl... Then I'm drowning

I never thought it was possible to hurt so much..
Physical pain...

I never thought It was possible to go with so little sleep.

I never thought it was possible to dream the way i dream

I never thought it possible to be scared to leave my house..

I never thought going to work would be a struggle

Bla bla bla bla...

I write in this blog like I'm talk to a friend...and that friend loves me unconditionally....
Not editied, not spell checked, not proof read... Cause it my writting, and you fucking lucky I let any one read it..

So

For ever hug I hate I love getting them

For every email I hate getting that says sorry for my loss, I love them...

For every card I can't read.. I will read the card.....

I just don't want him to be gone from my life,

Motherfucker I don't get it, here is a good kid, strong, health, smart, polite, hard working good manners, saving for a house! Car loan... Wasn't a booze hound or a drug dealer, loved family vacations.. Still told me he loved me...

Even when we would fight... Our love for each other was so fucking incredibly unconditional... I have said horrible things to him and he had said them to me... But we never turn our backs on each other when times were shit...
We liked, shit, we LOVED to hang out together...

So GOD I ask you why the fuck would you do this to my Hilton..
Fate... Eh... Fuck fate....

If there is a bigger reason other then fucking with my life.... Tell me..... Fucking spit it out and tell me asshole....

We only learn through adversity....
That's fucked, there has to be a better way to learn...

I cared about so many people unconditionally and they took advantage of it... Hilton... Always stood beside me...
I never stood beside my father like hilton stood beside me.......

I WAS a LUCKY MAN to have him in my life......

I was ripped off to have him taken away....