Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Day 6 why kick when you can stab..

The prelude:
Over the last 5 - 6 years my relationship with my brother(s) has been tough,

( Like any family.... We are fucked up)

We broke up our business partnership and since then thing just haven't been the same.....

And recently again, My brother had another partnership with another family member, fall a part, which brought him back into my life...
Funny how things work... One minute your the bad guy....
And one minute your on a dessert island not looking so bad...

Even so, our relationship is not exactly on solid ground, and another brother of mine ( there is only 2) and the brother I'm talking about are " chummy" again..... WTF.... And they both dislike me.....

let call my brother bob... For the purpose of this story.....

Bob has told me on several occasion that his wife thinks I'm an ass and I'm not welcome at his house... So Bob says....???
Not sure what is true or false, with Bob...

I'm just happy to have a 5 year old broken relationship on the mends,
even if its because "bob" is desperate to have some semblance of family cause he has lost every one...via his own doing.

( I believe we are responsible for our own choices)


Mom, grandma, ( dad died) sister, brother... And brother n' law daughters.... Wow.... And a bunch of friends.... All have left my brother "bobs" life.....

I was happy to be the oasis for my brother.... So I thought.........
----------------------------------
Day 4


"bob" send me a text and asks me how hilton is... ( 4 days late but that's nice, as I didn't call him to tell him the news anyway)

I thought this is nice!!
.... I reply'

"he is alive"

He tells me he is here for me...

That's really great I think to myself....BOB is reaching out he really cares..


He popped into the hospital and I just didn't have time for him hiltis conditions are changing by the minute,

never the less I thought it was great that he came and he and mom after 7 year finally say hello...

Yet I was not there for the conversation...
I understand it was " AWKWARD".
Kind a funny ...not....

When I came in the waiting room "bob" did not even get up to greet me.... As he finds hospital difficult to be in.... I got that, I ask; "do you want to see hilti" he look scared and nervous. And
said a quick ; "NO" .... I got that... Shit I was scared each time I went in....
I ran back in to see hilti...

And that was the last I saw of him... Brother "bob" when I came out , he had left without a goodbye...


Over the next two days he sent me some thoughtful text of hope and support...

NICE right.?
"bob" send me a couple of text 4 or 5 and asks if his wife colleen ( not her real name) could come down...

I said: "bob" .. Get this .... I said "bob" , perhaps another time, don't bring colleen, she does not like me and this is not the time for a family reunion...

"bob" send me another text with the same request:

I get a little more stern:

"bob" please do not bring colleen down tonight , maybe turning the week early one morning , when I have more time.... Now remember , mid week mornings are quiet....

And "bob" acts like I never sent these text... And continues


Hey tim we are going to come down tonight...
(Wtf?)
I again reply...
Hey bob not tonight, do not come here to the hospital....

Simple right, just waiting till mid week morning, but don't come down now...

( I just don't want the family reunion with some one who does not like me and...... I have this new unstable relationship with brother "bob" .... Shit no good is coming out of this..........)

( Colleen) if your reading this... Talk to "bob" .. And if your having trouble rapping your head around it... Email me direct- off the blog)

___________________________

Day 6

Sunday night 8:05 pm after dinner , kat, alex, nat, me ... And huh, gues who ... there in the hallway... Out side the ICU, is ( guess)
Brother "bob" and colleen.... Weird right??? Me too???....so...... I make a simple request, right , just hang tight.... ( I actually made this request of different people for different reasons... And not one person .... just said:.... Aaayyy fuck it, Tim does not no what he is talking about and just showed up.....


So there stands "bob" and colleen.......out side the ICU doors... I think they thought I was gonna be ok with this???


I approach them and say to "bob" with out making eye contact with colleen... "Leave"

"Leave, I asked you not to come here......"


"Leave now"....

"bob" says; pause ... We want to visit....hilti.....

I said, "I asked you not to come.... I ask very politely. Do not bring colleen!!.... . Why are you here?....

He tells me colleen... Has brought holly water.....??? Ok???
I have not seen this woman is 6 ,7 years...

My brother has told me she never wants to see me..

she come with holly water and a gift...??? I'm a catholic and this seems fucked"

-Sarcastic- Even though I explicitly ask them not to come????
Talk about disrespectful !!!eh

I'm a little freaked out, that "bob" my brother, just ignored... My simple request...??? Who does that?????

And when I ask them to leave....

They give me the " well I never" ....attitude.... Fuck up....eh....

They said: "we want to leave a gift.... I said no thanks" ...

If you read the blog...the only thing at this stage the we need is food.... And they bring a gift... ??? That we can't eat....


They again gave me the
" ungrateful asshole look"

I was thinking... You disregarded me.... Why the fuck do I give a shit what you think....
( They didn't want to leave, "bob" was doing a mexican stand off...)

I told "bob" I would call security....

So.... With a flip of "bobs" hand in the air......They left........

Now this is where it gets good....... Weird , not good.. Crazy... Oh yeah,.. There is more...

While "bob" is sending these messages/ texted.. During day 4,,5, 6 .... Of hope and love and support....and showing up to give the double wife support... Un wanted or not... All seems like good intentions right??.......
WeLl guess what bob evil twin... (Metaphoric -sarcasm) is doing from the other side if his mouth...
....Bob .is Sending / forwarded email to his daughter...... (That by the way the girls are staying with me....at the condo...at this stage, emotional wrecks)

"bob" is sending these nasty email.. About me to his daughters... To help them understand what a selfish prick I am....

"bob" is Describing to his daughters that I'm a jerk , self Serving and disrespectful to my son....and a bunch of stuff that is not worth discussing.. Ever....

And sharing emails created by another family member in order to harm my reputation.........
All while my sons life hangs in the wind....

And you ask yourself .....

Why would he be so hypocritical and say he is here to help me in one text ... And tell his daughter I'm an ass in another....

I'm not sure why either?


.......And when I tell him I know what he is doing.... Via a texted .... Guess what he does.... Within 5 seconds...
While his daughter is sitting beside me....
At my condo...
Yep... Beside me....
Bob calls her and gives her shit for sharing the nasty email he wrote......
With me... Wow... Crazy right...

I can hear everything...
Over the phone... She hangs up on dad... I would too.....

So disrespectful of my son

And so harmful to his daughters who just want to support hilton, kat, kellie, georg and me...
-----------------------------------

And this is only the tip of the iceburg...

Cause the only reason im keeping a diary of this is because...I found out that "bob" ( my brother) has told people he was not allowed to go to the funeral..... ......And instead of you guys thinking I'm a thoughtless ass...
You need to know what he was doing to undermind me while I was at my families worst.... So no I did not want him there......
----------------------------------
" When a guy is down... Its the best time to kick him . Eh "bob" ... Good job....sarcasm !!!!!
------------------------------------
I tried to fix our relationship for 5 years email after email....
And you do this to me...


Tip for readers:
when you have a family member loosing their child support them...no matter what........ Don't ever kick someone when they are down...
JUST DON'T KICK THEM WHEN THEY ARE DOWN
SHUT YOUR MOUTH.... And SUPPORT them... Or keep away... If you cant say anything nice don't say anything at ALL!

------------------------------------
It was that monday morning after "bob" screamed at his daughter over the phone , my heart pounded, kellie cried.... And I turned to BOBs daughter..........

She hung up and just cried, and cried and I held her and hugged her... So hard....

I'm not sure if she was crying because of hilton, because of her father, or because of me...... But I held her that morning until the tears stopped........

------------------------------------

When your in the middle of a huge family life or death situation...

I guess "bob" did not realize how much more pressure he put on my family and his kids,
for no other reason then to hurt me for his own joy.... Selfish.... Really unbelievable selfish.....hypocritical jollies... Good job, bob you accomplished your goal.

To hurt me and my family.
----------------------------------
----------------------------------

"bob" ..... I forgive you....

1 comment:

  1. Im so happy you wrote this..and got it out..And you and I both know where "Bob" is right now..Tim ..you are an absolute piller..I have been around for many many years and have seen the turmoils the family has gone through. I was there at your dads funeral when you also had to take control..and Im proud of you..For being the level headed Byrne.You see the big picture and not the immediate gratification , You persurvere when It seems nothing good can come..and it always shines true in the end."Bob " has just succeded in alienating himself EVEN FURTHER and that is not your cross to bear.His children are now fully aware of what kind of man he is..and will probably look up to thier Uncle more than thier own Father.Im so happy you wrote this..i know it was not exactly a memorable time in the last precious days of Hiltons life, But it was what you HAD to do..and as Ive told you before...Youve done everything right..To the best of your knowledge and capability..Let them go about thier sad existances..and you work on your healing..Love you all, Leeann

    ReplyDelete