Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Part 3 of 3 un written blog

I leave the little room with penny and kellie, as we discussed who says good bye and who stays...

I ran to hiltons bed side,

Kiss him and leaned into his ear... And said a hale mary.... Told him:

Son , buddy, I love you, but its your turn.... Your turn to choose.... Fuck buddy, you do what is right....for you I love you, god bless
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Penny said she would stay
WOW
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Dr. Avery said...give me a hour and we will pull the tube out and get hilton ready to breath on his own...
He spoke like he is gonna make a asshole out of me when hilton is still alive... Breathing on his own... In a week...
For the first time in my life I wanted to look like an Asshole...
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I finished saying good bye,

Iam a coward, I could not watch my son fight, I would. Not watch with out interfering... I can't stay...
I said good bye, kellie said goods bye julie said goodbye..
And penny with all her strength hugged me and said I will stay... I will stay and hold his hand... While they start him on this journey...

Penny is a lot stronger then I thought.... And I loved that...

Penny stayed with our hilton...

I ran , I felt like I had pulled the plug... I felt guilty and dirty, sinful... As I walk down the hall, I said I need to go to st. Mikes chapel... Across the street both julie and kellie said they would come..
Jule had to go pee,
when she left the room it was spinning...

Kellie say she has to go pee,
I said panting I need to get the fuck out of here...
And the elevator opened
And I was gone alone..

The minute I got off the floor. 12:20pm. Day 19. My cell phone lost its connection and said I have to call the provider to rebut and launch.... WTF

Its like hilton came down and said fuck you, don't call anyone... I need to do this on my own...

Hilton was so independent
Stubborn,

I ran around metropolitan church park... Panicking ..

I finally met up with kellie , julie and my sister, we call kat, and alex ... And 2:20pm we head back up to the 9th floor,

Shit!!! Our nurse give hilton to much morphine which means they have to Wait... Before they can pull the tube out....

Other then me not breathing waiting to see if he can breath, this stupid morphine delay gave alex and KAt and georg a chance to hang with hilton,
it gave time for popa to show up... It gave time...

And to be honest, it felt let I was given a chance to breath...

So we waited....

At 2:45 pm oct 29th 2010 with penny present and my family kat, georg kellie and kelly all at st. Mikes..cathedral .....
They took the tube out....

Hilton was now in a position to see if his brain would do double time fight or flight..

Kat. Alex katie and penny... All stayed in the room #11 with hilton
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Penny goes home to wait and from this point calls the ICU from home every few hours and make sure there is no medical intervention,
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Day 20
11:15am
Penny send me a text and say " hilton is close"
She said she called...

I did not tell any one I got that text,

Not kat, kellie, georga, kelly no one not julie...

I was to scared...

Penny made her way down with her mom...

At 2:30
Me waiting at my condo for 23 hours... Everyone on pins and needles...

Diane his grandma and penny his mom are by his side,
Penny steps out for a minute ,

Diane I was told tells her grandson.... Its ok hilton, it ok.... And at 2:47 pm on oct 30 2010 after 20 days of fighting for his life hilton just couldn't breath on his own....

He just couldn't make it and with is grandma holding his soft hand... He stopped breathing.....

My buddy , my son , our baby boy was gone...

God bless , sweet dreams.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.

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1 comment:

  1. Hilton is at peace. This is what he chose. Rest easy Hilton.

    ReplyDelete